The steps mentioned below are easier said than done. We encounter heartaches here and there, and we face it differently. I pray that if you’re ever in these situations, you’ll have the courage to face it. All these shall soon pass, and you are not alone.
Break-ups are the last thing we think about while in a relationship. Sometimes we don’t even think about it at all. Why would we? We should be looking forward to getting married to our partners, not breaking up with them. That is why when break-ups take place, we end up like a mess. We feel lost and clueless because we aren’t prepared for it.
So, here’s my starter pack to nursing my heart.
I gave myself time to embrace the pain, which soon fueled me to move forward
I cried myself to sleep. I lost my appetite. Loneliness hit me every night, and certain places brought back memories and feelings. They made me imagine many scenarios. It was probably the darkest part of my life, but I let myself absorb that struggle.
After a few months of being stuck in that dark pit, I was finally determined to stop running after him and move forward. It was hard to find that determination but figuring out how to move forward was harder. I knew moving on could feel messy, stagnant, heavy, and overwhelming, but I didn’t realize how much of a struggle it was.
Accept everything that happened, the good and the bad
It didn’t go as planned. We were bound to fall apart at some point. He wasn’t for me. These and all the other cliché lines we often see in movies and read on books were the words that ran circles in my head as I was slowly coping with my heartbreak.
It took me days and weeks to accept these facts, but time heals all wounds. I knew that time was what I needed, so that’s what I gave myself.
Reflect on what I lost and gained during my relationship
When we broke up, I started to blame myself right then and there. I knew I lost a part of me. Reflecting on what we both did during our relationship, I remembered that there were struggles and issues that were often forgotten without closure because he hated confrontation. I was able to prove to myself that the break-up wasn't entirely my fault.
I gained lessons that will never be found on textbooks and a chance to ponder on what we did wrong. Now I know how to avoid or do it correctly next time I fall in love.
While accepting and reflecting, I distracted myself
I went island hopping, hiking, and trekking. I often volunteered in our church and focused all my attention on my studies. While doing so, I realized that I only liked many of the things I thought I liked because he liked it. During that time, I rediscovered myself.
When distracting yourself, do what you've always wanted to do. Go where you've always wanted to go. Be who you've always wanted to be. Go and find who you truly are to know what you really want.
Right now, I can’t say that I have fully moved on from him, but this experience helped me start loving myself. I continuously learned what kind of person I am. Through the pain, I recognized the joy found in the many small and simple things that are already there. Everything that happened made me realized that I must not rush towards a relationship just to get over my feelings. It’ll all be worth the wait in the end. Beautiful things take time.
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